Things you want to say at work, but can't...

[ak]

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Things you want to say at work, but can't
THINGS YOU WANT TO SAY AT WORK , BUT CAN'T!

1. I can see your point, but still think your full of crap.

2. I don't know what your problem is , but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never, is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate your self in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh, I see the #$@* up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job. But I've got a lot Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be!!!???

24. Do I look like a people person??

25. This isn't an office, it's hell with florescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made/ Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind if look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind the door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume, must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic & disorder - my work is done here.

37. How do I set a laser pointer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks

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-ak